Actual Military Warnings

"Aim towards the Enemy." -

- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, 

  Mr. Grenade is not our friend."

- US Army

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate.  

  The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- USAF Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

- Infantry Journal

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."

- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."

 - US Air Force Manual

"Try to look unimportant;

  they may be low on ammo." -
- Infantry Journal

"Tracers work both ways."

- US Army Ordnance

"Five-second fuses only last three seconds." -
-  Infantry Journal

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."

- Col. David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well,

  you're probably walking into an ambush." -

- Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." -

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once." -

- Anon

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant

  you have nothing to do." -

- Unknown Army Recruit

"Don't draw fire;

  it irritates the people around you." -

- Your Buddies

  And lastly...

"If you see a bomb technician running,